I am a very open wife and sometimes I think my sex drive is higher then my husbands. But I've noticed that he watches porn and looks at other women on a regular basis. I'm always waiting for him to come to me and I do any fantasy he thinks of. I've known myself to be more attractive then half the women in porn. I just don't get it, it makes me feel horrible when I catch him looking at it rather then just going in the next room with me!Why does my husband choose porn over me?
Men don't notice subtle clues, hints, or suggestion. We only notice when our wives are blunt and direct.
Have you told him that you long for him to take you and to fulfill your fantasies. Have you bluntly told him what your fantasies are?
You need to be very direct with your husband and get him to understand three things:
First, and most important, tell him that it hurts you when he watches porn. Don't just say it hurts, either. Tell him WHY it hurts you. And if he is having trouble performing because he is masturbating too much because of the porn, let him know that this hurts you too. You want to be his fantasy, not these imaginary women on the screen.
Second, tell him that whenever he is tempted to watch porn, you want him to come and take you instead. Don't be subtle about it, and make sure he knows you really mean it. And to prove that you really mean it you need to never say ';no'; for awhile (except for ';that'; time of the month... but then there's always oral). But this means that you have to be ready to have sex at any moment... at 2:00 in the morning, during his lunch break, instead of watching Gossip Girl, whenever.
Third, he needs to believe that sometimes you have fantasies, and since he is your husband, he is the one who is allowed to take care of those fantasies. And by ';believe,'; I mean make him believe it. Ask him to do the things in your fantasies to you.
Finally, men don't want to always be the initiator of sex. My wife doesn't have anything near your sex drive, but is good at having sex with me when I need it. But I long for her to be the one to come up and seduce me. And I don't mean her asking me ';Do you want to have sex?'; Because then it is still my decision. I mean flat out telling me that she wants me, and she wants me now, and she won't take ';no'; for an answer. So, try being the initiator for awhile... don't be embarrassed. If you're blunt, he might get the picture.
Porn makes us men feel like we are desired, that those women long for us. So to combat that, you need to make him feel just as desired as those porn flicks do. And he will always notice other beautiful women, but will be much less likely to stare if he knows that you desire him and fullfil his needs more than any of those other women ever could.
He will never figure this out by himself. You need to kindly tell him these things. Kind but firm. Bluntness with tact.Why does my husband choose porn over me?
Most men like to look at other women. It's just the way their brains work. It does not usually hurt a relationship as long at that's all it is. Only if it becomes obsessive or replaces intimacy with the partner that it is a real problem.
But it sounds like you don't feel appreciated by your husband. You need to figure out if he really does not demonstrate his attraction to you or are you insecure and overly sensitive.
If you are insecure, you might get counseling or read a book that will help you boost your self esteem. Do things that make you feel attractive, like work out, get your hair and nails done, dress your best.
If he does not show his attraction for you, you need to tell him how this makes you feel. He should compliment you and make you feel like the best looking woman in any room.
Good for you for being open to new things in bed. Have you considered asking him to watch porn with you some of the time? And asking what he likes about it?
1) All men view porn, all men.
2) Why are you waiting for him to approach you? You can view the porn with him (or not) and you are capable of seducing your husband, right? So do it!
I try to very hard to give myself to my husband - even on nights I don't always feel up to it - a quickie isn't going to kill either of us. Even with all that - he still views porn. It's not a reflection on you or your sex life - he's just a man.
He basically is not choosing them over you, he just likes the things they do more than the things you do. So the next time he is watching porn, invite several young male studs over to entertain you during his porn time. I bet he will shut the movie off when he hears you screaming in ecstasy in the bedroom, and the kitchen, and the garage, and in the pool, you get the picture.
i agree, it bothers me to. I think they have bad memories so they forget what a vagina looks like so quickly they just need a refresher course. Not really, but i do like a little porn so i can use the visuals when i need to later too. I do think men are OVERLY OBSESSED, just keep him on a leash with the porn, mine decided he needed bios and location and stuff to keep it exciting and i think he was headed for a fling. The more we tell them we don;t like it, the more they will just sneak. I think i'd rather know then have secrets.
What's wrong with watching it with him and doing some of the things that they do? I watch porn with my husband all the time. It turns us both on. I know he's not thinking about the other women when we have sex either....I love it cause it makes my husband hornier and the sex is always amazing when we watch porn....hmmm...yes it is ! Sometimes after a long day after getting the kids taken care of, dinner cooked, bath times, games played, snacks, story time....I'm just too exhausted to get in the mood, he pops a movie in and I'm ready to go.
That is an easy question to answer.
Hubby enjoy watching his porn and looking at other woman as they do not talk back to him, they are not telling him look at me I am more attractive than the porn stars.
So the problem is you, you need to stop being so self centered and put a bit of focus towards your hubby instead of yourself.
i think youre lying about your sex drive, most of the time porn doesnt become an addiction until something more happens... or quits happening.. either way you need to talk to him and tell him, dont drop hints, tell him how you feel and you want to be the porntress in his real life porno!!! buy some stripper lingerie and really throw some gas on the fire!!!
Probably because you are overweight or maybe he just wants multiple women. Some guys really desire multiple wives. In times of war where men die off it isn't a bad idea but where the sex ratio is roughly 50/50 you got to think of others.
Guys are biologically polygamous. Porn is an easy and safe way to get variety that is a biological drive. The problem you have is your ego. It has nothing to do with you so deflate your ego a bit and you will be fine.
Well you really need to talk to your husband about this and the way it makes you feel. You cant go through your entire life not feeling desired by the man who is supposed to love you the most. If he cant stop his behavior then you need to leave.
I have never understood it myself either.
It's not that I don't appreciate the naked body, but to choose that over actual bodily contact is just weird to me. Pretty tragic really, he needs to stop whacking off himself...Sad Git!
Lol
Maybe he just wants to jerk it for once instead of worrying about pleasing you?
But still I would prefer sex over jerking it any day. But in a prefect world, I would like to get the easy one out of the way before sex.
It is just male curiousity... unless it is obsessive, you will make it worse by making a big deal out it. He is NOT choosing porn over you....
Because the women on there outstrip you, obviously.
BABY ALL I CAN TELL THAT WATCHING PORN IS A EASY WAY FOR MEN TO GET OFF IT IS NO WORK .SO DON'T FEEL BAD OR QUESTION YOURSELF JUST CONSIDER YOUR MAN TIRED OR LAZY
I don't now....these people on Yahoo all think porn is ';normal'; and ';healthy'; but it doesn't sound like EITHER in your marriage.
Good luck to you- your husband is a selfish azz.....
Don't want eggs every morning for breakfast
Could be A LOT worse so I wouldn't worry to much
Porn is addictive, if one starts watching its difficult to stop. the problem is not with u, its him. If its too bad seek help.
Then come over to my place I would love to play out a few role plays with you!!!!!
b/c when you eat chicken everyday, sometimes you want a steak.
Porn is normal and healthy : }
Oh My God! This is a debilitating subject and practice for too many men! It has ruined thousands of relationships for no good reason. it lowers the self esteem of a Woman to the point of no return sometimes and men don't understand how hurtful their cheating eyes are! you're doing everything possible for him and yet he still does this disgusting habit? It's an addiction...start printing out those porn addiction pages and have him read them, and get him to a counselor as quickly as possible if he cares at all about your relationship. These men will justify their habit any which way they can and claim it has nothing to do with you...but it does. These men are afraid of intimacy, therefore being intimate with you requires them to actually FEEL and be accountable for not only their feelings but yours too. With porn, they don't have to be accountable or intimate. If he doesn;'t seek help, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do. No amount of crying, begging or pleading will change this terrible act of his. I wish all porn could be banned for life because it only causes pain and fake expectations for all genders and ages. Sex is meant for 2 people and between 2 people only. Anything outside of that even in thought is cheating dear. Stop this now or face the hard road without him....you deserve better. And you deserve to be respected all the way around. Remember, you are a worthy Woman and undeserving of his actions, please don't ever think otherwise.
I find it so hard to believe that with all of the questions from wives on here about this that so many people still think that porn is ';healthy'; or ';normal';.
Ask yourself this; Is porn causing a problem within your marriage? It sounds like it is, so I wouldn't say it is healthy.
Anyway, the men on here who say it's normal are only trying to defend their compulsive habit. The women who say ';all men do'; or ';you better stop being so insecure'; are too afraid to tell their husbands to stop. So who is really insecure?
If you do you research you will find that porn is affecting thousands of relationships negatively.
A very common misconception is that all men watch porn. This is simply not true. Only weak men who have no respect or self control watch it. Someone said it's because men are lazy. Very true, men are very lazy creatures who have a strong drive for sexual pleasure. So what is the fastest and easiest way to get pleasure? Porn. Talk to your husband. If you are truly doing what you say you are, there are underlying problems with your marriage, or he is a addict.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if you don't like it and it is causing problems with your marriage then why should you just have to sit and put up with it because somebody tells you it's normal? He is disrespecting you. Stand up for yourself and tell him how you feel. If he can't stop for you, then maybe it's time to move on.
You are facing two problems - issues.
1. low/bad self esteem which causes you to FEAR or resent those threatening porn images, etc. Folks with good self esteem/worth are NEVER threatened by such stuff because they are SECURE AND HAPPY WITH THEM SELF.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en%26amp;q=sel鈥?/a>
2. You, like most others, need to LEARN HOW to relate and make a mutually satisfying, happy relationship by improving your relationship skills and methods.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en%26amp;q=rel鈥?/a>
I hope you will consider learning the things you need to make it good - especially if there are children involved in your unhappiness.
