Why are people so horrible when a wife 'harasses' the husband and his new girlfriend?

Isn't this human nature, in the initial period of shock? If you find out you have been lied to by your husband and his girlfriend for months - is it harassment to try and talk to him? Is it wrong to ask them to be civil and to meet and talk, to try and be adults for the sake of the kids? Why do people display such hostility to the wife at times like this?Why are people so horrible when a wife 'harasses' the husband and his new girlfriend?
Sorry if this is what your going through. He is likely feeling like he is on cloud 9 with his new flame and she maybe telling him to stay away from you because she is threatened by the fact its your husband.





Your children and their well being should always be 1st.Why are people so horrible when a wife 'harasses' the husband and his new girlfriend?
Are you his wife or ex-wife?





If you are his wife - before you kick him to the curb find out why he strayed - it takes two people to make a marriage work or not...then figure out if you both can move past the affair and work towards making your marriage better, together with the help of a professional - think of your children too and what they will lose if you just dump it all. Think of what the future could hold...visitation issues, money issues, step-parents....it is a never ending battle when kids are involved, someone always makes it harder than is ever should be and the children are the ones who suffer the most.





Just walking away from your marriage is the easy out, but in the end it's not worth the pain and suffering EVERYONE will go through for years, it is better to be adults and deal with the temporary pain and try to save the marriage.





If you are his ex-wife - what is it you feel the need to ';harass'; them about? What have they lied about?





Perhaps a little more information will help in answering your question.
Your husband owes you an explanation. Marriage isn't a menage a trois, its between two people, and when that breaks down, both parties need to discuss options/reasons.You have kids involved which really, the girlfriend, cookie, should stay out of this until you come to some sort of legal agreement. Guilt, the idea he has been caught is one reason they are behaving badly. Too, he knows you now have reasons for divorce and to financially clean his clock.


If he won't talk, get a mediator, legally, to get all issues out in the open, and deal with the fall out. He may not agree to this as he wants his cake and eat it too. You have to take care of you and your kids, first. Then deal with him with the lawyers.
I had a boyfriend, who turned out to be married, but he had lied to me for 8 months. We dated, and I even phoned him regularly at home. I never suspected that he was married. Like a bolt out of the blue, his wife called me. I was mortified that I was unknowingly and unwittingly ';the other woman';. She knew damn well that he had lied to me, but she took it upon herself to constantly harrass and threaten me (she got my phone numbers from his mobile).. she would call day and night, upset my kids, make death threats..etc..even after I stopped seeing him. I was as much a victim of his lies as she was.. she had no right to take it out on me. Why cant the wives just deal with their husband? Its the husband who is betraying them. The husband who is not respecting their marriage vows. Why is the other woman always blamed. Let me answer my own question.. because the husbands are too GUTLESS to take the blame for THEIR adultery! And the wife would rather blame the other woman than take a good look at their own marriage.





For the record: I am against adultery. I would never deliberately try to steal another woman's husband from her. Ever.
For the same reason they judge single mothers.





They told my fiance to leave me when I got preg and wait for a paternity test.





7 months later he regretted not being there.





The world is poised to hate and judge women.





We judge each other as women very hard. Who knows.





Also, you may not be harrasing him, he may just be saying that. Mine told me several times that I was harrasing him. Then when I quit talking to him he got more upset and told people I would not let him be there for the baby. Everyone felt sorry for him. You can't win sometimes.
I RESPECT YOUR QUESTION BUT THE REASON WHY PEOPLE (MEN)GET LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE OF THE FIRST ANSWER POSTED DONT TURN INTO A VENDICTIVE WHORE LIKE JANET IS HER AND OTHERS LIKE HERE ARE WHY MEN TURN INTO ASSHOLES.BUT I WOULD BE HURT IF I WAS A LADY ,A WIFE AND MY HUSBAND HAD A GIRLFRIEND I WOULDNT TALK TO ANY OF THEM EVER AGAIN OR DRAG COURTS INTO MY BUSINESS,THATS THE SIGN OF A WEAK,EVIL,VENDICTIVE HUSBAND OR WIFE GOING THE EXTRA MILE TO STABB THE HEART MENTALLY AND LEGALLY,UNFORTUNATELY ITS COMMON HERE IN THE GOOD OLD USA,AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY OTHER COUNTRIES THINK WE ARE STUPID AND WRONG IM STARTING TO BELIEVE EM
If it's a wife and not an ex-wife then by all means you have the right to harrass him. But I think that if a man cheats on his wife the wife should leave and take him for everything she can. He's not worth the time of day in my book.
He does owe it to you to answer your questions on WHY this happened, but she does not owe you anything. If he did this to you, it's just a matter of time before he does her the same way. He walked out on his kids. What kind of man does that make him.
Because they were selfish to begin with and feel appalled that they could actually have consequences for their actions. You are disturbing their temporary fantasy world where they think they are happy and will be together forever
OMG I thought I was the only one going through this. I think its because women are the only ones concedered psychotic. Its crazy but I really just had to put EVERYTHING in writing andit really helped.
Yes it is reasonable to ask them to talk about the situation.
Because they don't understand until the shoe is on the other foot.
waaaah. my husband left me for a hotter version of me. waaaah.
its not really any of thier bussiness is it?
well the girlfriend didnt take any vowelsss... so i dnt think u shud harras the girl harras ur cheating husband!!!
I have found that harassing is not a good way to deal with your husband. It only makes them defensive and gives them more reason to stay away from you. It also gives them ammunition to their friends and family to justify why they have a girlfriend instead of staying with you. I have found this out the hard way through counseling





If your husband has made up his mind to leave you and go with the girlfriend, then it is time you grow up. The man that you love and fantasize as your hero or knight in shining armour is just a human being also.





Get information, get counseling, seek wisdom and comfort in the Lord and get to know more about your situation from both how a man and woman look at relationships. I found the website marriage missions quite informative.





When next you meet your husband and talk to him- be calm, collective, and reply him with wisdom and reason that you have learnt from this situation. You will see a different response from him.





It took 2 years of bible studies to hold my tongue even though I wanted to fight back from being taken advantage of. It has brought out a different person in my husband.





Meanwhile revise what is real and important in your life and try to do the things that you never had time to do to take your mind off him. Put this problem to the Lord and he will do the rest for you.





God bless and I hope all works out for you