Saturday, January 9, 2010

Do I spend the holidays alone or with my cheating husband and his family?

I found out today that my husband has been cheating and hiding stuff from me. We are supposed to spend the holidays with his family. He is already there and im going tomorrow.





Since I found this evidence I have no desire to go to his family. However, I am from another country and has no family or even close friends here that I can rely on.





Do I stay all alone for the holidays or do I go to his family? I don't know what to do. I am confused and hurt.Do I spend the holidays alone or with my cheating husband and his family?
If you feel this is a situation that can be worked through, then by all means, spend the holidays with his family. However, if you feel you are too hurt to get through the visit without a major breakdown or fight, or you have no plans on staying married to this man who cheated on you, please find something else to do with your time. You don't have to spend the holidays alone and thinking about this. Maybe you can volunteer someplace. It will help others and make you feel happier. If you don't know where to go to volunteer your time, simply call any church or hospital in your area. I know someone there will be very happy to tell you some ways to help!Do I spend the holidays alone or with my cheating husband and his family?
This is a real dilemma. But if I found myself in such a position, I would not go to my husband's family for Christmas. If I did go, it would send a message to my husband that it was all ';business as usual.'; It would also send a message that I feared being alone, even more than giving up my self respect. Even if I decided to stay in the marriage after all (not likely), I could do so. But going along as if nothing has happened--even if it means a little family gossip and mystery--can only set the worst sort of precedence possible. Give yourself choices: celebrate Christmas with yourself this year.
oh my god, your question in almost identical to the question I posted today, except that my marriage problems are not caused by infidelity, The people saying that you should NOT join your husband麓s family, even if you decide to try to save the marriage are right!!!


You need to make him clear his cheating is unacceptable...stay home and if you really can麓t find any friend to spend some time with (just like me) go and pamper yourself in any way you can..go shopping, to the movies, to a beauty salon etc


and if you feel really lonely come over here and I am sure you麓ll find other people feeling lonely at christmas who want to chat with you...





I麓ll send you an email with my email adress so you can mail or chat with me (I prefer not to post it on here)


good-luck to you
You need time to yourself right now-time for YOU. You are obviously hurting and do not need to be around the situation-or the object-of your hurt at this time. May i suggest linking up with a couple of girlfriends-or old pals for a while? Perhaps pamper yourself a little-or even treat yourself? His family would no-doubt sympathise with you and what you are going through-but hey-blood IS thicker than water and all that sympathy would likely pass soon enough. So sorry i could not offer any more constructive advice to you at this sad time in your life. Zero tolerance to ALL cheaters.
You said yourself that you ';have no desire to go to his family';. So, don't go. Let him explain to his family why you aren't there. Christmas is a special day only if you are with people you love and trust; being alone is better than being with him and his family right now. Use the time to think about what you want in the future. Good luck to you.
Go to his family, let them see there is a problem, tell them if it helps, they may well side with you! No family wants this sort of upheaval going on causing unhappiness.


Don't stay alone to brood %26amp; get depressed, get it into the open %26amp; maybe things will get better.
Why are you still with him? If you no he is cheating.You deserve better than that.No deserves that kind of heart break love you more than that and send him on his way everybody deserves to be happy and in love.If they do it once they will do it again and its not you that's his own issues he needs help with .you heal your wounds first and find areal man not a Boy!!!
Spend the time on ur own healing and making some decisions about ur life. Can u really do the family thing when u know its all false. Grab some of ur favourite food, a bottle of bubbly and spend some time looking after urself. Tell him why u arent coming and i will give him the opportunity to have a good think about what hes done. Good luck.
you know he is cheating, please leave him, you are better then that. he is a bad person for cheating on you, and do not go with his family. i agree, pack your things and go shopping, hang out with your girl freinds.. u dont need him!





p.s. this is a realy sad thing thats happened to u, but it will all work out in the end. be happy x
you can come to my house!!! If you go there, you will be uncomfortable and miserable the entire time. I suggest you stay at home and pack your items, while you get your I'm leaving speech together. Good luck darling, and dont let anyone take advantage of you ot mistreat you. You got this
That sucks. You poor thing.





Your husband is a cheater. You be a bodhicitta (awakening mind). Stay home on listen to Pema Chodron. Or Byron Katie.





Then to the opera, and sing along. Or Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.





Oh, and skip a lot.
i'm so sorry that this happen. i think instead of going to his family thing, do something for you. go shopping, get a makeover because you will definitely need to do something while he's gone. can you go home in the other country? if you can i would. hope everything turns out o.k.
writea letter to your mother in law, explain that he is a cheating sob,seal it give it to her and leave the party. It'll give her something to talk about at dinner. lol
Since your hurt I'm sure that you don't want to put a fake smile on your face. Go take some time alone and just enjoy it. Maybe go some where out of state. Self love comes first!
ALONE. you're better than that. have fun by yourself!
princess peace of mind and pride are priceless do not go with him at all
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